The Raven
by Manny PenPen
Summary: Short little parody poem, with the events of Nevermore set to Poe's "The Raven."


A/N: Well, here's a short piece I dreamed up halfway through my Red Masque  
chapter last night. The idea was too delicious to pass up, so. . .there  
you have it. Enjoy the bit of foolishness, and, as always, I lurve the  
feedback.  
  
--Manny  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither Teen Titans nor the original poem "The Raven" by  
Edgar Allen Poe. Those are both copyright to their respective owners. You  
all know the deal by now.  
  
THE RAVEN  
  
Originally by Edgar Allan Poe  
Parody by Manny PenPen  
  
Once upon a midnight dreary, Titans battled, till they wearied,  
With a villain that so clumsily their good contentment tore,  
Dr. Light, mistak'nly fooling, gave her to her temper's ruling,  
Causing rage so overruling, overruling all the more.  
"What's the matter?" hissed the girl, "Afraid i'th'dark? I have in store  
Only hell, and nothing more."  
  
So we had to stop her temper, rage as cold as deep December,  
And she calmed, but anger's ember wrought a wrath upon our doors.  
Even though I breakfast offered, she would scorn and rage and proffer:  
"Only herbal tea I'll doff for-only that and nothing more."  
Cyborg and my self did worry, so we went unto her door--  
Stood there (it seems) for evermore.  
  
I knocked, so trembling and uncertain; Cyborg toppled it like a curtain  
Tearing--daring just to fall across the bedroom's blackened floor;  
So that now, my heart fast beating, stupidly I stood repeating,  
"Dude, you know she'll get real freaky if she sees we broke her door-  
She's so gonna freak completely if she sees we broke her door;-  
Then we'll die with blood and gore."  
  
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,  
So I stepped into the yonder room where many things were stored  
Pairs of masks, a bed, a candle, sheets and shelves and books on mantles,  
Things so weird I couldn't handle looking at them any more.  
Cyborg, man, he looked so.randled (don't ask me what I said that for)  
So we stood, did nothing more.  
  
Then my eyes did see a mirror (surely there is nothing queerer  
Thinking, slinking ever nearer as it lay upon the floor).  
Though I knew it would be foolish, I picked up the mirror, to which  
It showed four red eyes so churlish that I feared it all the more.  
Whilst I yelped a scream quite girlish, behind me grabbed my friend Cyborg  
And we both knew nothing more.  
  
When in time we both awakened, hid'ous sights our eyes did take in  
So I thought I was mistaken--surely 'twas a dream, no more.  
Cyborg, always quick with speaking, told me, "Man, I think this freaking  
Place we're in is something leaking from the mind of Raven, or  
We're both stoked up high on something." This he said and nothing more.  
Though I stared, he said naught more.  
  
While we walked in darkness, mutt'ring, suddenly I heard a flutt'ring--  
Ravens perched together, clutt'ring one dead branch of ash wood core.  
"Turn back!" they shrilled, their beaks all clacking (though scariness they  
all were lacking)  
And thus they changed to four-eyed crackling monsters glowing more and more  
"Dude, this sucks," I said quite tactf'ly as the birds all screeched and  
swore--  
"Let's keep movin'," said Cyborg.  
  
After in the dark proceeding, something changed, and sent me reeling--  
Surely pink was not appealing to a girl so tough and sore!  
Stranger still, there came a maiden giggling like her mind was fadin'--  
And although she looked like Raven, Raven ne'er liked jokes before!  
"Dude, you think I'm funny?" said I, wondering if I should tell more.  
Quoth the Raven, "Never more!"  
  
Whilst I marveled Raven's humor, Cyborg (such a party pooper),  
Said, "Man, we need to 'scape this stupor; we can't stay here any more."  
Raven looked quite sad about it, but she shrugged and pointed out this  
Portal just beyond the flowers, huge and scary, but still a door.  
I turned to tell her something, but her cheery form disappeared before  
I could ask her anything more.  
  
Once again, the scene did changeth, and once all were rearrangeth  
Raven once again, most strangeth in a cloak of gray restored.  
"Raven, dammit, where'd you go?" yelled I, letting my anger grow  
And she cowered, trembling just so helplessly I couldn't much more  
Chastise her, especially as she cried, "I knew you'd hate me more  
"You already don't like me any more."  
  
Startled at her strange emotions, I for one, attempted motioning  
Her to see my comments mostly as mere jokes, and nothing more,  
Still she wept, although she guided both of us through a maze presided  
By stern walls so high and prided that I could not fly up o'er.  
And at the end, she pointed trembling to a quite familiar door  
Through which we passed, confused the more.  
  
But the Raven still beguiling showed again in green, all smiling.  
(By now I had to wonder, wryly, which of us were insane the more.)  
"High fives, guys!" she bellowed fiercely, gung-ho like a weirdo priest-  
ling  
Going door to door a'preaching--then came something surprising me more  
The other two appeared, and 'midst them came a shadow blue and bored--  
And there was Raven, nothing more.  
  
Naturally, she was quite piss'ed that we her privacy dismiss'ed  
And had her mind so badly kiss'ed (if a kiss is the word this scores)  
"Get out, now!" she yelled, her hands about to wring our necks, and then  
We heard a rumbling that forewarned the coming of a demon forth.  
Yes, the rumbling trembling warning of a demon coming forth.  
Dude, talk about goth galore!  
  
Then methought the air grew denser as a red-skinned demon, censored  
Only by a loincloth's lesser cloth that kept from showing more.  
"Morons!" yelled the blue-robed Raven, "Run and get out; bravin'  
Something thus so foul and craven is for me and no one more!  
If you value life, then run! Just behind me is the door--  
Run and live for ever more!"  
  
"Dude, no way!" was my reply, and so I came to help stand by.  
And as her shield gave up and died, we both came in to rescue her.  
Working hard, we pushed the demon into darkness, so our schemin'  
How to beat this stupid keelin' demon from our friend's mind shore.  
And although she didn't listen to our plan at first, we implored  
That she all her selfs d'accord.  
  
After all, if only one part couldn't beat a demon, maybe wouldn't  
All parts together, like tofu puddin', even against a demon score?  
Seeing logic in our planning, Raven took to heaven, spanning  
Each sweet color about her fanning, coming closer than before.  
And although it was uncanny, watching all those Ravens' soar  
Erasing blue forevermore.  
  
What followed was a blazing battle, making stones and heaven rattle  
Til I thought the world would shatter and our lives would be no more.  
(Note to self, if I should make it out and have the wits to take it  
As a joke, don't with Raven make it--that'd be death forevermore)  
Finally, she won and thus the red could rise but never more  
And blue-cloaked was she once more.  
  
Breakfast next morning I was worried, for though we she her victory hurried  
Raven's not the sort to curry favors for forevermore.  
So I offered tea so herbal, and to my surprise (quite verbal)  
She act'lly asked for tofu eggs (they taste just fine, Cyborg!)  
And so our team was once more peaceful. That's the end, there is no more  
Of the episode called "Nevermore."  
  
THE END 


End file.
